The Final Countdown of the Semester

Ah the last two weeks of the semester.  The last week of classes and then onto finals week.  This is crunch time folks.  And by crunch time I mean finding as many ways to avoid doing work as possible.  It is truly interesting to see how far off the mind can go in these oh-so-important times.  The best part about this time is that with all the work that needs to be done, coffee, energy drinks, and 5 hour energies are a must, thus enabling you to spend not only the day but the whole night to wander off into oblivion.

My first move is always, “Alright I’ll pick out the perfect music to listen to so that I can keep focus the whole time and knock this paper out in an hour so I can move on to the next one!”  And here is where the merry-go-round starts.  So obviously it takes about that first hour to find the “perfect music” to listen to.  My idea of the perfect music is to listen to something that I know and enjoy, but not know too well because I don’t want it to take away from my brain power. 

Now that the perfect music is found, it’s time to check all the go-to websites just one more time.  Yea that always works out well.

So it’s time to start the paper now right? Wrong.  It’s obviously time to check out David Akers’ kicking stats in 2001 because without that information, it would be impossible to move on.  Then maybe I’ll check out stats of kids that I know that play a sport in college.  And now, the music isn’t right so I have to go back and find a better selection.  And by this point I have to go to the bathroom and stretch out 'cause I’ve been sitting in a chair for an hour and a half.

 And now it’s time to start the paper!  Bing bang boom, those first few sentences fly by.  I’m gonna finish this paper in no time!  [Enter stomach grumbling].  Well how am I supposed to keep focus on the paper if I’m hungry? Food time. 

Wow am I full, I’ll just sit down and rest for a little bit, just one episode of Always Sunny and I’ll start back up.  Bing bang boom, 3 episodes later, now it’s time to get back to the paper.  So now I just have to pick the perfect music and I’ll get back into the groove. Riiiigggghtttttt…..

Thanksgiving and Football, That's What America Does

Thanksgiving time means it is football time.  Excitement at an all time high for the Detroit Lions’ game! They are finally a legitimate football team! Oh wait they still got crushed.  Three football games on at Thanksgiving ensures that nothing else will be watched during the entire day.  Who is up early enough to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade anyway? Millions you tell me? Yea well I don’t know any of them so it doesn’t count.

Thanksgiving time also brings out one of the longest standing traditions in the history of the world.  A good old fashioned turkey bowl.  A gathering of family and friends to toss the pigskin around to ensure that everyone has gotten their once-a-year workout in. 

Whether it has rained the day before, or hasn’t rained in months, the field that you play on is guaranteed to be muddy, I don’t know why, I don’t know how, I’m no scientist.  It just happens.  This is obviously muddy guy’s time to shine.  There’s always that one guy that gets astronomically muddier than everyone else, but hey I’m no hater.  That guy was almost me this year.  First pass of the game, my gazelle legs in full effect, screaming down the field for a Hail Mary, the crowd already on its feet, and I make a miraculous catch (obviously), take one step, and immediately slip on the slick mud.  Simultaneously an awesome and horrible start.

Fortunately due to good ole Global Warming, it was 85 and not a cloud in the sky so conditions were great out.   So another game and another Thanksgiving in the books, alls I can say is that it was another helluva break, can’t wait for next year.  Now, tune in those radios to the holiday stations and bring on jolly old Saint Nick.

Turkey Day is Here

It’s Thanksgiving time once again.  The time to fit in as many things as possible in the week or so off from school.  The time for friends and family to recount times of old.  Thanksgiving is a great precursor to the gt’z that will soon be had during Christmas break. 

As Loudon Wainwright III once said, “Forget about Thanksgiving, it’s just a buffet in between [Halloween and Christmas].”  Never has something more correct been said.  Thanksgiving is a ton of time of preparing the beastly feast, of planning who’s gonna sit where, and when we will be able to turn on National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. (We didn’t watch it this year, thanks a lot football) 

Thanksgiving is loading up a plate to its absolute capacity, then tossing a few rolls on top and hope that you make it to the table before the volcano of food explodes.  It’s a time to mentally prepare oneself for the truckloads of food that will be bulldozed into your stomach.  The meal itself is a true test of agility and strength.  To eat as much as possibly possible, then go up for another plate.

A new tradition has evolved from Thanksgiving.  “Hey honey! Let’s go out to shop for things for Thanksgiving, and just wait there for three days so we can be the first in line at Best Buy!”   Skipping out on the Thanksgiving meal, which is debatably the only important meal to eat all year, to camp out at a store to get low prices on a camcorder; that’s just plain wrong.  I know these are tough financial times we are in, but really people?  Do you think there were pilgrims out there skipping out on Thanksgiving so they could get the lowest prices on spices and animal skin? I don’t think so, there’s a little thing that I like to call tradition.

Thanksgiving being over is a pretty monumental moment.  For many, it’s finally acceptable to start listening to Christmas music! Oh I sure do love this time of year.  The music is the best (except for those really lame original songs people try to sing and they just end up sucking really bad.  I hope everyone enjoyed Thanksgiving,  but now it’s time for a little B101.1 to get into the Christmas state of mind.

 Ps.

I See You, Christmas Lights

It’s about that time folks! Take a look around and you will begin to see the Christmas light mummies rising from their cold graves in garages and sheds and hopping up onto houses and trees all over.  Ahh what a beautiful sight it is. 

We Americans take pride in our Christmas decorations, inside and out.  We take pride in jacking up our electricity bill so that our neighbors can see how much we love Christmas.  We take pride in reaching off the ladder as far as we possibly can so we can avoid having to climb back down and move it over.  Oh how sweet it is.

Me, I’m the icicle man, Best In Bucks 5 years running. You should see me, I zip right up the ladder, hop up onto the roof and hook those suckers up to the shingles and bing, bang , boom I’m done.  If it were only that easy…

Putting up Christmas lights depends on how you took them down the year before.  If you’re still riding that Christmas high, still pumped about all those sweet presents, then hey, it might just be a nice easy process.  On the other hand, if you’re like 99% of the rest of the world, it’s simply a pain in the tuckus.  Ripping the lights down is obviously the easiest way to get them. Ripping down also ensures that there is no perceivable system or organization, which therefore comes back to haunt you. 

So the first hour of the next season is spent just looking for the right lights, and then the next 5 are there to start putting them up and realizing that one of the bulbs is out, thus making the whole string out.  So after pulling Clark Griswold after Clark Griswold, after all the hours of frustration and wanting to just quit and not put as many lights up this year, you can finally marvel at your creation, your Frankenstein.

So this one’s for all you Christmas light putter uppers.  For cursing at those fuckin lights (yea I’ll let that one slip), for yelling at anyone who asks you a question no matter the subject,  and for completely being out of the Christmas spirit by the end of it all.  This Bud’s for you-oo-oo.

(Ps. This is definitely the earliest I’ve ever put up lights and it feels fantastic)

Afternoon at Occupy

The newest journey that I have gone on with my trusty shoes (ps. how nice do they look? I just gave them a good cleaning) was over to Dilworth Plaza to visit our friends at Occupy Philadelphia.  Now if for some reason I was visiting Philadelphia and I had no idea what this Occupy movement was, my first impression of the Center City would be that it is a dirty, homeless filled city.  Raggedy tents and clotheslines and handmade signs on cardboard and old sheets are all over the place.  I must say, not a good look, Philly.

I seemed to have picked a pretty monumental day for Occupy all over the country.  They made an astronomical leap yesterday, on November 17!  Just kidding, they have still yet to make any discernable headway in anything.  Well that’s not entirely true; one of the most beautiful stories of love and fate happened right here at Occupy Philadelphia, “A match made in protest heaven,” if you will.

A pair of star-crossed protestors, Alicia and Adam, met at a simple information tent on the very first day of Occupy Philly, and from there, they knew that they were destined to be together forever.  After getting to know one another so well, after 32 days, they decided to tie the knot.  After the glitz and glamour of the wedding at the Occupy location, they chose to spend their “honeymoon” traveling around to other Occupy locations in the northeast and spread their joy.  They have a bright future ahead of them Alicia, unemployed, and Adam, an independent contractor whose work is on hold (unemployed), plan on traveling around making a difference out there on the front line. They found love in a hopeless place, aye Rihanna?  A true love story indeed.

All joking aside, although I truly feel like these Occupiers are wasting their time and effort, I am somewhat impressed by what they’re doing.  They have joined forces and set their minds on making a difference. 

The absolute best part of all this Occupy stuff has got to be the current situation at OccupyWall Street.  There are hundreds and hundreds of people there, some being wealthier than others.  Well they have split up their living situations at Zuccotti Park into an upper class and a lower class.  And out of all those people, two dozen or so meet up and make decisions.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this whole Occupy thing about trying to eliminate that.  They have become the very thing that they are protesting against. Ironic? I think not.

Weekend At Happy Valley

Pennsylvania State University, you may have heard of it recently.  The sole reason why I couldn’t watch TV or go on the internet or listen to the radio or go out in public for the last week.  That damn sasquatch! Now this is my turn to annoy people who thought they forgot about it.  To be serious, what happened with Sandusky and those children is absolutely terrible. Last night [Sunday] he had his first interview and it is obvious that he is just sick in the brain.  There is no innocence in “horsing around” naked in showers with little boys.

But regarding the weekend, I am happy to report that if for some reason I had no idea what was going on with the scandal, I would not have been able to tell that something this big was going on.  There were some “We love you Joe Pa” signs, but besides that, no nonsense at all.  Just regular, crazy old Penn State, as seen from elevator picture above.

As I heard a fellow visitor say, “This can’t be a real college, can it?” State College, Pennsylvania is one giant playground where everyone is on the same page.  That page is entitled “We Are Going To Have Fun Every Single Second of Every Day, And If You’re Not, Go Away.” 

When Osama Bin Laden died, here at Drexel, I gave a little hoot and a fist pump.  I heard one idiot running down the street yelling and that was about it. Not at state, no sir.  They do it big there.  The 3 and a half hour drive there from Philly is just a necessary buffer to prepare oneself for what’s about to transpire in the upcoming hours. 

For a visitor, Penn State is like heaven on earth, but unfortunately for them, this scandal is most likely going to tarnish the name for decades to come.  So hey, stay strong Penn State, lawd knows you need to.

Cruising the Concrete Waves

Ahh skateboarding.  For many it’s a hobby, a leisurely activity.  For few, it’s a career.  For me, it’s pure laziness.  I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy it; it’s just simply easier and a realistically faster way to get around.  Sure, walking is cool and all, but it gets old and boring after a while, so hey, why not try something else.  I’m not the fastest talker or thinker and certainly not the fastest walker. Biking is a hassle. So skateboarding is a solid alternative, especially if you look suave doing it.

Looking back, I wish I calculated all the time saved because I rode a skateboard somewhere rather than walked.  All that extra time to spend procrastinating!  All those trains I would have missed, all those classes I would have been late to, all saved by the trusty skateboard.  And yea as you all were probably wondering, yes, skateboarding has some other great benefits too.  For instance, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been smoothly coasting down to class and seen everyone stop what they’re doing just to watch me glide along.  All the “Hey Will! You’re so awesome and great at skateboarding, can I be your friend?”  Again, I can’t tell you how many times that has happened cause it never has, but one day, one day…

Skateboarding in the middle of the street and through crowds of students is borderline dangerous at times, but what’s life without a little risk.  All the honks and yells and narrowly missed cars and people really get your blood going.  But on a serious note, skateboarding can change the way you view things.  A hill is another opportunity to enjoy gliding down.  A pothole or crack is an opportunity to test you’re turning.  A speed bump is chance to see how injured you can get.  All of these things, which, unfortunately, so many people will go without experiencing, are what make up the wonderful activity called skateboarding.

Ps. Yes, I have eaten the pavement several times in my day in front of many people, and yes, it is extremely embarrassing.